TV: This Week’s Quotable Quips

“I’m sorry I lost my temper before; it’s because I was shot in the head by a moron.” – Ron Swanson (Parks and Recreation)

“You want me to write a Snow White Lady Gaga musical to be directed by Blair Waldorf?” – Dan Humphrey (Gossip Girl)

“If onlys and buts were candy and nuts, every day would be Ertendankfest.” – Dwight will not save your place in line (The Office)

“Drama is gay man Gatorade. It replenishes their electrolytes.” – Jenna (30 Rock)

“You should kill that baby … I will throw it in the ocean … Yoko, because she’s Asian and she broke up our group!” – Elizabeth Banks hates Cam and Micthell’s baby (Modern Family)

“He’s cheating off a girl who thinks she square root of four is rainbows.” – Kurt (Glee)

“You got room on your bicycle for my bag?” – Booth’s Pops to Sweets (Bones)

“So what! You’re a chewer! I’m a yeller! We all got something!”  – Hilda (Ugly Betty)

“What?! First we give up a month for black history, now we’re blowing seven days on the Irish.” – Pierce in response to the announcement that Glendale is having a Green Week (Community)

“If I could speak the language of rabbits, they would be amazed and I would be their king.” Raj (The Big Bang Theory)

“I have to go. They’ll think I’m pooping.” Finn (Glee)

“Um, things I want: robot dog, night vision goggles, bug vacuum, GPS watch, speakers that look like rocks . . . I love my wife, but she sucks at giving gifts. Oh! Yogurt maker! I can’t *not* think of things I want.” Phil (Modern Family)

What were your favorite TV moments this week?

One Response to “TV: This Week’s Quotable Quips”
  1. Jen says:

    I was at a conference yesterday and we were quoting Finn’s line about pooping from Glee and cracking up! I liked when the dumb girl from glee said that a Ballad was a male duck. I also appreciated Dwight’s Recyclops.

    Also – pretty much all of the above :)

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