Ten reasons you should be watching “Gossip Girl”

HH_PolaroidIf you’re not watching Gossip Girl by now, you will never, ever, ever know me. (Oooh, oooh.)

Seriously, guys, I know you’re busy having a life and whatever, but there is really no excuse for you if you’re not watching Gossip Girl by now. If we’re lucky, the show will maintain it’s current level of absurdity for a season and a half, tops. If you don’t get in now, while the getting is good, you’re going to end up like those people who never saw Joey Potter sing “On My Own” on Dawson’s Creek — which is to say: a very sad person, indeed.

If you need some gentle persuasion, here’s a list of ten reasons you should be watching Gossip Girl.

10) It’s a Josh Schwartz vehicle — Do the words “The O.C.” and “Chuck” mean anything to you, hmm? Because that’s Josh Schwartz, kids: hypersonic plots, full-on insane characters, occasional drug-fueled threesome murder/wedding situations, all set to better music than what’s on your iPod.

9) Hilary Duff is coming to the UES — Remember life before we were plunging headlong into a Miley Cyrus/Jonas Brothers dystopia? All you need is a little Hilary Duff to joggle your memory. The former Lizzy McGuire megastar is trying to get the best of both worlds at NYU, living like a movie star and a regular old dorm-dweller all at once. Oh, and she’s rooming with Vanessa, which totally means: stalking lessons!

8) Tyra Banks — Specifically, Trya Banks. on a couch. with Serena van der Woodsen.

Do you know how many young girls would look into the Mirror of Erised and see see this very thing?! This many girls:

That goddamn Serena van der Woodsen has all the luck!

7) Georgina and Blair: BFFs 4 EVA — Did you hear the one about the hurricane and the earthquake that were forced to share bunk beds? No? Well, you can see the outcome for yourself on this season of GG because, friends, shit is about to stop getting nice and start getting real up in NYU. Blair Waldorf and Georgina Sparks are moving into a dorm room, together. It will be Satan’s greatest accomplishment, and my greatest fantasy.

6) CW’s most recent promos shots — Show me a person who does not want to watch a show about rich, teenage Thundercats, and I will show you a person who hates life.

5) New York Magazine’s Daily Inteligencer Reality Index — Each week they recap the show by tallying up the real and the absurd. It’s the highlight of a Tuesday morning.

4) You’ll want to be able to join in on the Thanksgiving conversation when you get together with your family — And any family worth loving is going to be talking about those crazy kids, Lily and Rufus, and their band of hooligan Bass der Humphs over this year’s turkey and dressing.

3) He’s Chuck Bass — That’s all.

2) Gossip Girl has essentially turned into hot-off between the boys and girls — With the exception of Kirsten Cohen and Julie Cooper, every dude on The O.C. was infinitely hotter than every girl. Ryan, Seth, Sandy, Sandy’s eyebrows: much better than the weird-looking chicks. But on Gossip Girl, everyone just keeps getting hotter and hotter. The first season it was all Serena and Blair and Nate’s bangs. Last season, Chuck came along nicely with his alter boy hair, but this season, man, everyone is supernova hot — even Vanessa and Dan! It’s fun to keep a tally to see which gender wins out each week. (Week one: dudes, narrowly, thanks to Chuck’s suit at the polo match.)

1) Jacob’s recaps at Television Without Pity — It’s the best writing on the Internet. Just trust us.

Gossip Girl‘s second episode of the season airs tonight at 9 EST on The CW. Make it happen, kids.

3 Responses to “Ten reasons you should be watching “Gossip Girl””
  1. Abigail says:

    Those promo shots are crazy times. Vanessa looks like a cougar!

    JACOB ! When that recap is up I am closing my office door.

  2. Ashley says:

    f you don’t get in now, while the getting is good, you’re going to end up like those people who never saw Joey Potter sing “On My Own” on Dawson’s Creek — which is to say: a very sad person, indeed.

    I was one of those people. Never seen an episode!

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